im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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