Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
