"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
