Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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