I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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