trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
