I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
