I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
