Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
