Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
