Michael Bay diarrhea
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
