Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize