Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
