it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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