sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
