....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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