Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
