We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
