names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dicks are not precious.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
