I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
