why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I cut my penus on the lid.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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