I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
two words...techno handjob
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
