Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
