i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
