i just wanna soil my oats bro
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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