If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize