question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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