Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize