Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
