cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
