Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
