And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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