Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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