Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
