my shit smells like andre
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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