She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
