so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
