My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
