Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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