I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
