No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
