remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
