Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
