the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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