One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
