I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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