What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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