Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
