But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
