Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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