I wanna bring you to show and tell
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
