i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
