he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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