I just gift wrapped bread.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize