Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
