So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
