Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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