Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
