I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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