When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
